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Supposedly a true story:
Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.  The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.  British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshield of their new high speed trains.  Arrangements were made to borrow the gun.  But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatter proof shield, smashed into smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.  Horrified, the British sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.NASA's response was just one sentence: "Thaw the chicken."

Fresh out of Business School, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small farm. "I need someone with an accounting degree", the farmer said. " But mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me". "Excuse me" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the farmer said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back". "I see," the accountant said." "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That", the farmer said, "is your first worry."

"When you lose, do not lose a lesson." - Dalai Lama

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers

“Very often a 'change of self' is needed more than a 'change of scene'.”
- A. C. Benson

"Lots of people are willing to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who is willing to take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

"The fate of the living planet is the most important issue facing mankind." - Gaylord Nelson

"We must go through a natural revolution if we are to survive on earth. We need to change people's perceptions. If there's no environment, there's no human race. We are in a state of global denial." - Ted Turner

"When we heal the earth, we heal ourselves." - David Orr

"If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed." - Chinese Proverb

"No issue is more compelling than the air we breathe, be it hot or cold, be it hawk or human." - Jack Nicholson

"Progress from now on has to mean something different." - Robert Redford

"Don't It Always Seem To Go That We Don't Know What We Got Til It's Gone They Pave Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot." - Joni Mitchell

"Nature is the unseen intelligence that loved us into being." - Elbert Hubbard

"Modern society will find no solution to the ecological problem unless it takes a serious look at its lifestyle." - Pope John Paul II

"Where the quality of life goes down for the environment, the quality of life goes down for humans." - George Holland

"What degree of proof about the human catastrophe from global climate change do we need before we are motivated to act to prevent it?" - Eric Chivian, MD

"We are running an uncontrolled experiment on the Earth, and it continues as we go about our daily lives." - Dan Becker

"Do we want to spend more time trying to care for our fellow man or do we want to just pursue more virtual reality?" "That's the issue before us and it's being played out in the world of the environment." - Ed Begley, Jr

"We are seeing the birth of a new perspective of the world, where ecology and economics are two sides of the same coin." - Leif Johansson

"By now it should be clear that environmental consumerism is not a fad or even a short-term trend. It is a way of life with broad support throughout our society." - Jacquelyn A.

"A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"A person who cares about the earth will resonate with its purity." - Sally Fox

"The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do." – Galileo

"Out of all those millions and millions of planets floating around there in space, this is our planet, this is our little one, so we just got to be aware of it and take care of it." - Paul McCartney

"If we do not begin to relate to the fact that the environment is an ultimate issue and act to preserve our essential ecosystems, we will most certainly lose our evolutionary potential." - Ted Danson

"We are living on this planet as if we had another one to go to." - Terri Swearingen

"Fundamentally, sustainable development is a notion of discipline. It means humanity must ensure that meeting present needs does not compromise the ability of future generations to meet their needs." - Gro Harlem Brundtland

"We need a new environmental consciousness on a global basis. To do this, we need to educate people." - Mikhail Gorbachev

"If you really want to define civilization it should be a culture that doesn't destroy its environment. If you burn down the kitchen one day and expect to eat the next, it is not even intelligent, let alone civilized." – Sting

"When the planes still swoop down and aerial spray a field in order to kill a predator insect with pesticides, we are in the Dark Ages of commerce." - Paul Hawken

"No one person has to do it all but if each one of us follow our heart and our own inclinations we will find the small things that we can do to create a sustainable future and a healthy environment." - John Denver

"To make the world work for 100 percent of humanity in the shortest possible time, through spontaneous cooperation, without ecological offense or the disadvantage of anyone." - Buckminster Fuller

"Until man duplicates a blade of grass, nature can laugh at his so called scientific knowledge." - Thomas Edison

"The ecological crisis is doing what no other crisis in history has ever done -- challenging us to a realization of a new humanity." - Jean Houston

"What is the use of a House if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?" - Henry David Thoreau

"We must go through a natural revolution if we are to survive on earth. We need to change people's perceptions. If there's no environment, there's no human race. We are in a state of global denial." - Ted Turner

Boudreaux lived "on the bayou" all of his life.  Across the bayou lived a fellow named Clarence.  They never liked each other from the time they were little boys.  They used to yell at one another across the bayou and threaten to beat each other up.  Neither one could swim so they could not get across to settle the dispute.  The yells and threats continued on well into their adult lives.

Even as grown men their animosity grew towards each other.  They both married and continued to live where they grew up.  Boudreaux chose Chlotilde for his wife, and although she did not understand his ill-feelings, she supported him.  Boudreaux would holler at Clarence that he would beat him up, and Clarence would shout the same warning right back at Boudreaux.  

This went on every time they saw one another. Finally, one day the parish began building a bridge across the bayou.  This project took two years to complete.  When it was finished, Boudreaux looked at Chlotilde and said, "Ya kno, beb, all my life Clarence been tellin' me dat he gonna beat me up.  Well, taday he goin' have his chance.  Me dere, ahm goin' cross dat bridge and we goin' settle dis ting once and fo' all." Chlotilde looked at him and said, "Well Boudreaux, a man got ta do wat a man got ta do."

Boudreaux walked out of his house and headed for the bridge.  As he was crossing it, he stopped, looked up, turned around and ran back home.
Chlotilde was quite surprised to see him so soon and asked, "May sha, wat's da matta.  How come ya back so quick, you?  Ah taut ya wuz goin' ta beat up dat Clarence fella?" "Haw yeah, ah wuz.  But ah chenged my mind, me," answered Boudreaux. "May why?" inquired Chlotilde.
"Well, me dere, ah start ta cross dat bridge ya kno and ah look up.  Den ah see dis great big sign dat say, 'Clarence - 13 feed, 9 inches.'  Choooo, he sho din look dat big from dis side da bayou, non!  Ah ain't goin' mess wit him, me!"

"Serious problems cannot be dealt with at the level of thinking that created them."
 Albert Einstein
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