Supposedly a true story:
Scientists at NASA
have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead
chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets
and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum
velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent
incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the
strength of the windshields. British engineers
heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the
windshield of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made to borrow the gun.
But when
the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the
chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the
shatter proof shield, smashed into smithereens, crashed
through the control console, snapped the engineer's
backrest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of
the cabin. Horrified, the British sent NASA the
disastrous results of the experiment, along with the
designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists
for suggestions.NASA's
response was just one sentence: "Thaw the chicken."
Fresh out of Business
School, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant.
Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who
ran a small farm. "I need someone with an accounting
degree", the farmer said. " But mainly I'm
looking for someone to do my worrying for me".
"Excuse me" the accountant said. "I worry
about a lot of things," the farmer said. "But I
don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be
to take all the money worries off my back". "I
see," the accountant said." "And how much
does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty
thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the
accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business
afford a sum like that?"
"That", the
farmer said, "is your first worry."
"When you lose, do not lose a
lesson." - Dalai Lama
"Even if you're on the right
track, you'll get run over if you just sit there." - Will
Rogers
“Very often a 'change of self' is
needed more than a 'change of scene'.”
- A. C. Benson
"Lots of people are
willing to ride with you in the limo, but what you want
is someone who is willing to take the bus with you when
the limo breaks down."
"The fate of the living planet
is the most important issue facing mankind." - Gaylord
Nelson
"We must go through a natural
revolution if we are to survive on earth. We need to
change people's perceptions. If there's no environment,
there's no human race. We are in a state of global
denial." - Ted Turner
"When we heal the earth, we heal
ourselves." - David Orr
"If we do not change our
direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed." -
Chinese Proverb
"No issue is more compelling
than the air we breathe, be it hot or cold, be it hawk or
human." - Jack Nicholson
"Progress from now on has to
mean something different." - Robert Redford
"Don't It Always Seem To Go That
We Don't Know What We Got Til It's Gone They Pave
Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot." - Joni Mitchell
"Nature is the unseen
intelligence that loved us into being." - Elbert Hubbard
"Modern society will find no
solution to the ecological problem unless it takes a
serious look at its lifestyle." - Pope John Paul II
"Where the quality of life goes
down for the environment, the quality of life goes down
for humans." - George Holland
"What degree of proof about the
human catastrophe from global climate change do we need
before we are motivated to act to prevent it?" - Eric
Chivian, MD
"We are running an uncontrolled
experiment on the Earth, and it continues as we go about
our daily lives." - Dan Becker
"Do we want to spend more time
trying to care for our fellow man or do we want to just
pursue more virtual reality?" "That's the issue before us
and it's being played out in the world of the
environment." - Ed Begley, Jr
"We are seeing the birth of a
new perspective of the world, where ecology and economics
are two sides of the same coin." - Leif Johansson
"By now it should be clear that
environmental consumerism is not a fad or even a
short-term trend. It is a way of life with broad support
throughout our society." - Jacquelyn A.
"A nation that destroys its
soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land,
purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our
people." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
"A person who cares about the
earth will resonate with its purity." - Sally Fox
"The sun, with all those planets
revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen
a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the
universe to do." – Galileo
"Out of all those millions and
millions of planets floating around there in space, this
is our planet, this is our little one, so we just got to
be aware of it and take care of it." - Paul McCartney
"If we do not begin to relate to
the fact that the environment is an ultimate issue and
act to preserve our essential ecosystems, we will most
certainly lose our evolutionary potential." - Ted Danson
"We are living on this planet as
if we had another one to go to." - Terri Swearingen
"Fundamentally, sustainable
development is a notion of discipline. It means humanity
must ensure that meeting present needs does not
compromise the ability of future generations to meet
their needs." - Gro Harlem Brundtland
"We need a new environmental
consciousness on a global basis. To do this, we need to
educate people." - Mikhail Gorbachev
"If you really want to define
civilization it should be a culture that doesn't destroy
its environment. If you burn down the kitchen one day and
expect to eat the next, it is not even intelligent, let
alone civilized." – Sting
"When the planes still swoop
down and aerial spray a field in order to kill a predator
insect with pesticides, we are in the Dark Ages of
commerce." - Paul Hawken
"No one person has to do it all
but if each one of us follow our heart and our own
inclinations we will find the small things that we can do
to create a sustainable future and a healthy environment."
- John Denver
"To make the world work for 100
percent of humanity in the shortest possible time,
through spontaneous cooperation, without ecological
offense or the disadvantage of anyone." - Buckminster
Fuller
"Until man duplicates a blade of
grass, nature can laugh at his so called scientific
knowledge." - Thomas Edison
"The ecological crisis is doing
what no other crisis in history has ever done --
challenging us to a realization of a new humanity." - Jean
Houston
"What is the use of a House if
you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?" - Henry
David Thoreau
"We must go through a natural
revolution if we are to survive on earth. We need to
change people's perceptions. If there's no environment,
there's no human race. We are in a state of global
denial." - Ted Turner
ON
THE
LIGHTER SIDE -
Boudreaux lived "on the bayou" all of his
life. Across the bayou lived a fellow named
Clarence. They never liked each other from the time
they were little boys. They used to yell at one
another across the bayou and threaten to beat each other
up. Neither one could swim so they could not get
across to settle the dispute. The yells and threats
continued on well into their adult lives.
Even as grown men their
animosity grew towards each other. They both
married and continued to live where they grew up. Boudreaux chose Chlotilde for his wife, and although she
did not understand his ill-feelings, she supported
him. Boudreaux would holler at Clarence that he
would beat him up, and Clarence would shout the same
warning right back at Boudreaux.
This went on every
time they saw one another. Finally, one day the parish
began building a bridge across the bayou. This
project took two years to complete. When it was
finished, Boudreaux looked at Chlotilde and said,
"Ya kno, beb, all my life Clarence been tellin' me
dat he gonna beat me up. Well, taday he goin' have
his chance. Me dere, ahm goin' cross dat bridge and
we goin' settle dis ting once and fo' all." Chlotilde looked at him and
said, "Well Boudreaux, a man got ta do wat a man got
ta do."
Boudreaux walked out of his
house and headed for the bridge. As he was crossing
it, he stopped, looked up, turned around and ran back
home.
Chlotilde was quite surprised to
see him so soon and asked, "May sha, wat's da matta. How come ya back so quick, you?
Ah
taut ya wuz goin' ta beat up dat Clarence fella?" "Haw yeah, ah wuz.
But ah chenged my mind, me," answered Boudreaux. "May why?" inquired Chlotilde.
"Well, me dere, ah start ta
cross dat bridge ya kno and ah look up. Den ah see
dis great big sign dat say, 'Clarence - 13 feed, 9
inches.' Choooo, he sho din look dat big from dis
side da bayou, non! Ah ain't goin' mess wit him,
me!"
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